Getting used to the silence again

I got back to the Ville last night and this time too, like every time I come to America, I am struck by how quiet it is here. I wake up to silence, and sleep to it… no honking cars, door bells, telephone, idiot box. Just me and the gentle tap-tap of my finger tips on the keyboard. Yes I am also getting re-addicted to my best friend in the whole world, my laptop.

I walked into my new apt in C’ville last night – my home for the next year – and felt like I’d never left this place at all. At some point I know I felt like the summer was stretching endlessly, but in the last few days, I kept wishing time would slow down, that I could have the comfort of my home and the real world for a while longer. I am not ready to become adult again, to shoulder the responsibility of living by myself, thinking about my health and nutrition or thinking about grades and jobs… Not ready to take on my new role as support system for my sister on the west coast, not ready to lose sleep wondering if she’s managing fine and staying safe.

Things are going to be different this year, in a good way or bad, I don’t know. But that unknown that’s waiting around the corner, is not a welcome visitor today. Not just yet. That next great adventure of second year, I wish it would hold out for a while longer. I sit here watching helplessly as my calendar for the next week onwards steadily fills up. Watching and wishing I was back in May. But time, it waits for none, does it?